How to Lose Weight – Guaranteed

by Dan on July 22, 2009


I’m almost reluctant to post this, as I have literally no credentials in the area of medicine, nutrition, weight loss, or personal training.

I have gone through some weight loss programs when I was maybe 15-25 pounds too big, but it’s not the same as what most people are facing when they want to start a diet and exercise program.

Regardless of my own experience, what follows is going to be an absolute no-brainer to anyone in personal training or nutrition. Some professionals will vary in opinions on the best way to carry out these principles, but if you follow this, you WILL lose weight. There is no way you can NOT lose weight if you do what I say here. If it doesn’t work, use the contact form and I’ll send you a refund for your 5 minutes of time reading this.

Why people gain weight is a debatable topic. Personally, I believe that aside from a few very rare cases, obesity is rooted in emotional/spiritual issues, and not in anything you’re born with.

I’ve known a fair amount of 200-250 pound women in my life. Heck, I’ve dated a couple of them. When I was on an online dating service some years ago, I was really having fun with the whole process of sending a woman an instant message through the site, then meeting her the next day for coffee. I went on a date-binge and went out with 3-5 new women for a week, for a couple months.

I noticed some interesting patterns. If a woman was skinny to medium sized, she would very likely order a tea or non-fat latte. If a woman was medium to large, she would order a mocha or whole milk latte with sweetener or syrup added to it. If a woman was large to gigantic, she would order a 20 oz. Frappucino with a lot of whipped cream on top.

There was one girl I went out with who was so big that she had to huff and puff to make it down the block. She was a lot fatter than her picture portrayed her to be, and seriously could lose 100 pounds body fat and remain overweight. Even this woman, who couldn’t make it a block without tiring her heart out, ordered the largest, fattiest drink available, with whipped cream on top.

There’s a BBW (Big Beautiful Women) club in San Diego. I’d link to it here, but they probably wouldn’t find this to be positive advertising. They promote “size acceptance,” as they call it, and have a wild time partying with similar sized women and the men who love them.

I talked to the president at one point, and asked her where they held their staff meetings if they don’t have an office. She said “McDonalds.”

I was stunned. I wanted to scream, “Are you guys even TRYING!?”

I asked another staff member of the BBW Club whether the club members go to the gym together. She chuckled and said, “No, actually. I think I’ve gained 15 more pounds since joining. You kind of lose motivation once you don’t feel like you’re being judged. Besides, I don’t like to sweat.”

“I don’t like to sweat,” is a very strange thing for someone to say. It’s like saying you don’t like the taste of water, so that’s why you are chronically dehydrated.

Most recently, the club suffered a tragedy when one of their regular members pictured on the site died from multiple organ failure. I have no doubt obesity played a part in this.

Some might say that people who are overweight are lazy or not committed to their health. I think that statement doesn’t really cover it.

Eating junk food regularly without exercise is not something you do when you don’t care about your body. Subconsciously, it is a deliberate, active assault on your health and figure. It’s your ego launching “Operation: Get Fat and Stay Fat.” This is similar when a careless businessman makes very bad decisions while depressed and launches “Operation: Go Bankrupt.” It’s not a conscious decision, and people with these problems will often passionately deny it could be something any part of them wanted.

The truth of the matter is that when you’re in a balanced spiritual/emotional mindset, everything works out naturally. Your house stays clean with a minimum of effort. Eating right is just something you do, without trying. You don’t lust for a Double Bacon Whopper. Why would you? They’re not even that good. Do you really need a 42 oz. soft drink at the drive through window? You’ll be on the pisser all day, and then have a sugar crash.

Aside from diet, you also get in touch with your body and realize you enjoy exercise like you enjoy showering to make your body clean. It’s not even to look good; it just feels good to clean the imbalances out of your heart and blood vessels.

From my experience, your subconscious sends you cravings for junk food when it wants you to be fat. It also sends fatigue and “pain in the ass” resistance when you consider going to the gym. When you’re “not in the mood” or “too tired” to work out, this is your ego trying to keep you fat. Making you tired, and making you feel grumpy are its two main weapons to keep you out of self-improving action, be it in health, wealth, or relationships.

It’s the same with keeping your house clean. There’s nothing inherently uncomfortable about washing your dishes or making your bed. However, when your subconscious decides you belong in a messy house or apartment, your mind makes you feel awful at the thought of taking these actions. It’s its best defense.

The root of this is almost always coming from guilt or deservedness issues. Lisa Nichols from the Secret has mentioned that she was very promiscuous as a young adult, so she became obese so she could avoid the invitation for reckless sex. Not a good plan. For one thing, ten years later she still has the weight. For another thing, obesity only keeps away the more weight-selective men. The invitation for casual sex is always there for most women, however much they weigh. In fact, it’s been found that the less secure a woman is about her body image, the more promiscuous she’s likely to be, whether she’s thin or obese.

The men and women I know who are very overweight tend to have several of these habits:

  • Eating only once or twice a day in huge meals.
  • Eating a disproportionate amount of fast food (McDonalds, Taco Bell; not legitimate quick service places like Panda Express,
  • Rubios, or Subway. Those are fine if you order correctly)
  • Eat and drink to improve their mood, rather than when they’re hungry.
  • Feel guilty after eating too much, and kick themselves for it.
  • Have absolutely no idea how many calories are in the meal they just ate, even if the information is posted on the wall next to them.

You may have one of those qualities or several of them. Either way, this plan will work.

Introducing… The Word of Dan Ultimate Common Sense Weight Loss Guide

Step 1: Register on Fill out all your info, including average activity level, weight, and how much weight you wish to lose a week. I suggest being conservative and aiming to lose 0.5 to 1.0 pounds a week. If you make it too difficult, you’ll quit. Trust me, if you can’t be patient about losing weight, you will ALWAYS bounce back 3 months later. It is Law. Also, the more patient you are, the faster it will come. It’s kind of a paradox. “Infinite patience brings immediate results,” as Dr. Wayne Dyer says.

Step 2: Make sure you eat at least three times a day. Eating one or two big meals makes you fatter. Google this if you don’t believe me. Ideally, you should be eating six small meals, but that’s not so easy for a lot of people with jobs.

Step 3: Make sure you eat breakfast BEFORE going to work. If you have a choice between an extra half hour sleep and eating breakfast, choose breakfast every time. It’s extremely important you eat before going to work. Anything you get on the way or at the office is not likely to be nutritious. Plus, the longer you wait before eating in the morning, the fatter you’ll end up getting.

Step 4: Record RELIGIOUSLY what you eat every day. If you can access TheDailyPlate on your work computer, then great. If not, keep a pad with you and enter it in TheDailyPlate website when you get home. Don’t let anything slip out of record, not even a handful of peanuts you snack on. TheDailyPlate makes it so easy. You can type in “Panda Express chicken bowl,” and it will let you record in your account the meal, including all the fat, protein, carbs, and calories, without you having to look it up. Plus, it will show you how much over or under you were for calories for the day.

Ideally, you will aim for the maximum calorie limit, but this is optional. All that’s required is that you bring to a conscious level what you’re eating and the nutritional information. After a while, you start getting a “sense” of when a menu item is really high in calories, or a safe item to have. This can only happen after repetitively having the nutritional content of random food items shoved in your face.

Step 5: If/When you break down and eat twelve philly cheese-steaks, STILL RECORD IT. Don’t tell yourself it didn’t count. Don’t beat yourself up either. Just keep yourself accountable. You pigged out; so what? We all do it. Once your subconscious realizes that you’re recording everything it eats no matter what, it will begin to work with you to make sure the food is healthier.

So if you can see you’re eating 3000 calories a day this week, you will likely find yourself eating less next week without even trying. That pizza in front of you becomes, “Do I really want to put in that I had FIVE slices of Sbarro?” It becomes easier to rethink your plan.

Step 6: Drink 64 oz water a day. That too much? Fine, 32 oz. Spread it out and make sure you drink a good amount.

Step 7: Take one day and eat whatever you want, without recording, guilt free. JUST ONE DAY. Some people say keep it to one meal, but the stricter the diet, the more likely it is to fail.

And that’s it.

Wait, what about WHAT you eat and HOW you exercise, and … and… and… salads and … um… supplements?

That would actually take more than common sense, so I’m leaving it out of the Word of Dan Ultimate Common Sense Weight Loss Guide.

But, for the record…

Should you exercise? Yes. Should you have a balanced diet of fruits, vegetables and whole grains? Yes. Should you have a good amount of protein? Yes. Should you avoid a transfats, saturated fat, and processed white flour and sugar? Yes.

If you want the full package, go pick up the book The Abs Diet or The Abs Diet for Women. It will give you a full six meal a day plan with workout exercises. It’s tough to stick to, but is the best thing I’ve found for “normal people,” and a heck of a lot easier than other diet plans I’ve seen. Even if you just took the “what to eat” information on the “eight good foods”, you would be a ton healthier.

However, this article isn’t about how to build optimum health. Today we’re just talking about how to lose unwanted pounds. Theoretically, you could eat peanut butter & jelly sandwiches made exclusively with white Wonder 80%-Air Bread, Jiffy Sugary Trans Fat Peanut Butter, and Goober Crap Diet Jelly, and still lose weight. It just becomes a heck of a lot harder because unhealthy food is a lot less filling, which will keep you hungry, moody and want to punish yourself more.

In other words, the healthier you eat, the less will-power it will require to eat less.

If you stick to whole grains, healthy fats, fruits/veggies and lean proteins, you will feel full, have more energy, and have a more stable mood.. You can figure that out for yourself, though. All you have to do is follow the 7 Steps, and you will fit into smaller sized clothes, guaranteed. I actually had to throw out my belt and buy smaller jeans. Just remember, however much weight you lose, there is more to health than your waistline. Regardless, a crap diet at a healthy weight beats a crap diet at an obese weight.

How much time does TheDailyPlate take out of your day? After the first week, maybe 15 minutes. If you can’t squeeze the time to work a website that does almost all the work for you, then you just don’t want to lose weight and no diet or exercise program will ever help you.

This was an “outer game” post so I just glossed over the “inner game” problems that lead to weight problems.. Maybe I’ll post about this another time, or just leave it to the experts. Just know this, if you cleared yourself out emotionally and spiritually, you would not be overweight. This I am 100% sure of.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

1 DJ Fuji August 6, 2009 at 6:59 pm

This was one of the most unintentionally funny posts i’ve read from you. Oh and I love the not-so-subtle references to mutual acquaintances. ;)

2 Rob August 17, 2009 at 11:50 pm

The Daily Plate is the best. It’s seriously as easy as it says here plus it takes into account any of hundreds of exercises you could be engaging in from fencing to sex to 19th century dancing. Good stuff.

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